Gender Humor--Men and Women Are Like….

Dogs

Men ~~ Easily distracted by two bouncing balls on a woman’s chest.

Women ~~ Cute and cuddly until they start marking their territory.

Cars

Men ~~ High performance engines if you tinker with them long enough.

Women ~~ Require regular maintenance to prevent stalls, sputters, and backfires.

Fish

Men ~~ Sometimes after reeling them in you wish you could throw them back.

Women ~~ Easily enticed by shiny, sparkly bling lures.

Computers

Men ~~ Some have better memories than others do and all have hard drives.

Women ~~ Come with lots of handy software.

Shots

Men ~~ They can be a pain in the butt but are good to have around when you need them.

Women ~~ Hard to live with and hard to live without.

Prayer

Men ~~ Some require a Hail Mary pass to get a date.

Women ~~ Frequently heard saying, "Lord Have Mercy" and "Lord Give Me Strength".

The Clapper

Men ~~ Mention sex to turn them on. Mention chores to turn them off.

Women ~~ Mention romance to turn them on. Mention popping the zit on your back to turn them off.

Spices

Men ~~ Life is pretty bland without them but too much can give you heartburn.

Women ~~ There are so many, you’d like to try them all.

Trains on Their Last Stop

Men ~~ Once they pull into the station…they are done for the night.

Women ~~ You rarely hear them say "All Aboard".

Stove

Men ~~ Leave them unattended and you could regret the end result.

Women ~~ Need to be pre-heated before cooking properly.

Wine

Men ~~ Some are sweet and some are bitter.

Women ~~ Some go to your head while others cause hangovers.

Caffeine

Men ~~ Can be real eye-openers first thing in the morning.

Women ~~ Too much of a good thing can give you the jitters.

Poker

Men ~~ Born to bluff.

Women ~~ You have to know when to hold ‘em and when to help fold the laundry.